Thursday, September 23, 2010

WHERE THE **** IS THE MOON????!!!!

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."  George Carlin (as the Hippie-Dippie Weatherman)

I was ready.  I had my camera by the door.  I had looked on the Nikon Website for information on taking night pictures.  And it started to get dark.  REALLY DARK.  And - it was far too early for it to be that dark.  I turned on the TV - and there was a little message on a blue screen that read: searching for satellite.  (Direct TV - rant to follow).  Sheets of rain began to pound my windows - the wind was whipping like crazy!  I had not experienced any storm like it since Hurricane Isabelle marched through Richmond and ripped six trees out by their roots in my yard.  And - it went on forever! 

I have probably mentioned before that stability in my family depends on the TV.  When we are forced to resort to actual conversation, things can get ugly - especially at dinner time when we are unable to chew without the television.  So - I was delighted to discover in my panic that we were still able to watch recorded shows on the DVR even though the frickin' satellite had somehow disappeared in the rain!  That was going smoothly until...the power went out.  Talk about dark!!!!!!  It was that eerie dark where you can't see ANYTHING.  At that moment, the conversation turned to:  "Where is a flashlight?"  No one knew the answer to that one!  Probably one of those mysteriously missing objects that disappeared in the black hole of the move.  Fortunately, before things got really ugly, the power came back on. 

On the TV screen, with the message about searching for a satellite, was a button marked, "more info".  Okay.  I decided I would click it.  A list appeared giving us suggestions to regain service.  Helpful things like: Press the red button behind the folding door on the front of the unit. (There is no red button...or blue...or pink...or purple. THERE IS NO BUTTON!)  Plug and Unplug the connection cables. (They always tell you to do this!!!  I think it is simply something to keep you busy until they fix the problem.)  And - my favorite - "If it is safe to do so, move the dish to a different angle."  (Yes - crawl up on the roof in the middle of a thunderstorm and play with the satellite dish!!!!  They should add: "Electrocution will quickly take your mind off the lack of service!!) 

After awhile - the missing satellite was apparently located and all service was restored.  The rain stopped (although lightning continued for some time) and the sky was filled with clouds.  The full moon was dimmed by the cloud cover - and not worth taking a picture of.  Now I guess I will have to wait until 2029.

And - I am somewhat worried about what will happen to our TV service when it snows.  I actually asked the technician who installed the dish about that problem, and he told me to go on the site and order a "dish bra".  I can't believe I fell for that.  Of course, there is no such product on the site.  I bet he is still laughing at me!  George said that we could use one of my old ones.  I failed to see the humor in that - unless he had to crawl on the roof to put it on!!!  Then I would laugh.

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